.

.

Who Decides What is Hard?

“May the God who gives endurance and encouragement give you the same attitude of mind toward each other that Christ Jesus had …” Romans 15:5 (NIV)

We often hear on the news and social media the stories people share of the hard things they are going through. I have to admit that sometimes I want to roll my eyes at what people say is “hard.”

But recently, God reminded me of an experience I had when my family was stationed in Fort Polk, Louisiana. My husband was part of the invasion into Iraq, and we didn’t know when he would return home. We didn’t know if he would return home.

I was in a leadership position for a women’s ministry that serves military spouses. One morning, I was in the front yard with our daughters when my phone rang. When I answered, a soft voice on the other end said, “Hi, Tracy. You don’t know me. My name is Susan. I don’t know who else to call, but I need prayer.”

I responded, “Yes, of course, any time! How can I pray for you?”

She said, “We just moved here, and I know many husbands are deployed to Iraq. My husband just left for two weeks’ Temporary Duty to the Pentagon. I have a 2-year-old and a newborn, and I’m really nervous.”

Immediately, I thought, Her husband is gone for only two weeks — he’s still in the U.S. — and no one is shooting at him. Really?! I haven’t even talked to my husband in almost three months! 

Fortunately, the Holy Spirit got a hold of my mouth before I could say anything insensitive or unkind. Then the Holy Spirit got a hold of my heart. What this woman was experiencing was hard! Two weeks by herself in a new place with a 2-year-old and a newborn — that’s certainly hard.

What’s considered “hard” in our lives isn’t up for comparison.

It’s not up to me to decide what’s hard. I just need to love others through their hard.

Just as Romans 15:5 says, we are to have the same “attitude of mind” toward others that Christ has toward us — one of grace, love and understanding. “May the God who gives endurance and encouragement give you the same attitude of mind toward each other that Christ Jesus had …” (Romans 15:5)

So how can I have an attitude like Jesus toward other people? The key is to ask God. We can depend on God to provide; He is faithful.

No matter what we’re all going through, our current situations may very well be hard — they’re just hard in different ways. The situation I deem easy — our college-aged daughter coming home from school during the pandemic to live with us temporarily — is hard for the single mother who now has her children home with no childcare and can’t go to work. That’s hard … but we can’t dwell on the hard. We can’t allow all our focus to be on the hard. But we can love and encourage one another through the hard … and, in fact, that’s exactly what we’re called to do.

Heavenly Father, please open my eyes to the challenges others around me are experiencing. Give me a Christ-like attitude toward them and a desire to love them well. In Jesus’ Name, Amen. 

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Lorraine here with a personal footnote: I have a next-door neighbor with twin daughters, age two. Consider how “hard” it must be for her in her trailer home. Fortunately, they have a large yard but this extreme heat forces us to spend time in our air-conditioned rooms. I have neighbors up and down the street who seldom leave their trailer or motorhome. They have needs and I feel helpless to help. I know they think of me but, likewise, they feel helpless to help. In this upside-down world, we need to pray for God’s intervention…

The discomfort doesn’t go away–and I have an aversion to medical doctors. For half my lifetime, I practiced holistic health. This past year (due to the Coronavirus), I’ve neglected my health!! (Lack of exercise and absence of nutritional meals.) My strongest pain reliever was Aleve but I suspect it was contributing to intestinal pain. My “natural remedy”  revolves around my passion for (1) Ancestry, (2) my fondness for my blog (journal), and (3) my love of clipart. Climbing the family tree is as challenging as a Rubik Cube, and jigsaw puzzles. It is so engrossing, I compare it to having a tiger by the tail. I’ve earned a gold medal for devotion to my sport, and hard work. ~~ I don’t want to put the vaccine into my body (I don’t take flu shots either). The stronger Coronavirus Delta-variant may catch up with me and I’ll be dead before the end of the year. I’m going out “happy” because of my mental gymnastics—and I’m leaving information that will be accessed for generations.

Peeve number one: Awake in the middle of the night and can’t fall asleep. In the interest of “redeeming the time,” I got up and “climbed the family tree.” By nine o’clock, I was so sleepy I couldn’t stay awake!!! ~~~ Peeve number two: “Thieves” on Ancestry.com  who rob and steal from those of us who work long and hard to accurately document family members. ~~~ On the positive side, I just proclaimed Lorraine a philanthropist  (a wide awake after a nap philanthropist).

Like pieces of a jigsaw puzzle, this researcher enjoys “fitting” the family together. Decades ago, “cousins” shared their information as I prepared the book titled FRANTZ  FAMILIES–KITH & KIN. Now I can share with other “kith and kin.”  That’s the comment I attached to the image, in Ancestry. Believe it or not, I am still documenting the extended families of John Bowman (the tombstone death date discrepancy was noted in an earlier blog message). These families are closely knit together and “there is never a stopping point.” ~~~ When blessed with a new obituary, I don’t stop with the individual and his/her immediate family. I “climb the tree” because “these families are closely knit together.” ~~ (FYI: I haven’t gotten to the newest obituaries yet.)

I’m not finished with yesterday’s research project. It’s just past midnight of a new day and I should be asleep in bed. “Never a stopping point.”  Creating a “cousin marriage” chart is very time-consuming!! First I see that the bride’s maiden name is the same as her husband’s.  Then document the parents, grandparents, etc., until I have the common ancestor. Yesterday, the cousin marriage AND a man with three wives, and the wives had two or three husbands (one at a time). Try sorting all that out. It was interesting because a lot of the documentation listed locations—in California—that I am very familiar with. So I was “time-traveling”; I put myself in those locations with pleasant memories. Several of the folks are buried in the LaVerne Evergreen Cemetery, LaVerne, Los Angeles County. I walked every inch of that cemetery  (time and time again) as I documented more than 3,000 tombstones. I published the information in 1989. ~~ I planned to check my email before going to bed—and found two new obituaries. Without a doubt, they are “extended family” members. They will have to wait until later today.

When it is hot outdoors (and indoors), I gravitate to the computer. Today, I’ve been “climbing the family tree” in someone else’s yard. Only one surname in common (“Bowman”) when I exchanged messages with a man regarding a disputed death date. Ancestry tells us if we are related (if each of us has taken DNA tests). Ancestry told me we were not related but I was related to someone in his tree. For several hours, last night, I was browsing hundreds of DNA cousins. Long story short, “Traxler” folks are in both our trees (my grandmother was a “Traxler”). ~~ I love researching, and documenting, “extended family.”

For the first time in months, I saw a comfortable temperature on the indoor-outdoor thermometer. I couldn’t believe it, it was so unusual. I’d just (grudgingly) gotten out of bed. It amazes me how quickly my body reacted to the cool morning. I’m heading outdoors to water the remnants of my scorched veggie garden. ~~ (Note: This is a “real-time” blog message while the following message was previously prepared and scheduled.)

.

Oh, what a beautiful morning!

.

.

.

Second postscript: Could my pain have been psychosomatic? I felt great while in the yard, and while sitting on my porch drinking coffee. It was remarkable!! (“Remark.”)

An RVing acquaintance sent an email message expressing concern for my health. I’m “isolated” but I’m not alone. Folks “far and near” reach out by phone and email. I appreciate her message by Martin Luther.

.